Looking Back
365 days, a year, I don’t know which sounds more impactful. I guess it doesn’t matter, it has been a shed load of time to grieve, miss , cry, and feel the expansive depth of the loss of you and the herd. Cognitively I knew the likelihood of you dying was greater than the odds of me being hit by a London bus, especially since I haven’t been to London. However the message from your son, saying that you had gone surrounded by your family and all the dogs and the cat, stopped my world. It was conceivably inconceivable and I was floored.
In that presence lies the history of our friendship, our partnership in HorsePlay, the discussions about horses, art, people and dreams, and the endless reading and exploration. We were always searching for ways to deepen the impact on the horse and the herd, and to bring that understanding into our work so that clients could experience it for themselves in the moment.
So, the last year has been a consolidation of the decades we collaborated, shared, laughed, and cried. Fortunately our wobbles did not coincide!!
In our last conversation we had we both reflected on how individual horses and the herd had formed us into the people we were now, both of us were so proud of that. As much as you were an intrinsic part of the fabric of my life, the horses wove swathes of colour, vibration and sheer presence.
You wanted to be the best horseperson you could be and make gobsmacking art……………….I figure you did all of that and more.
Part of moving forward, is looking back to realise how far we came in the field, what lessons we were taught and the value of your contribution.
All that was has changed. You, the herd, the ideas and plans have gone from the form they once held.
In looking back, I bring the richness of the horses, the lessons learned, the wisdom gained and your memory to create a now. What remains is woven into who I am, how I work and how I move forward. The field may look different, but the gifts of the herd and our friendship endure.
A year has passed, yet your presence continues to inhabit the past, the now and, I believe, the future.
Love and miss you muchly.